"The optimum place and way of genital stimulation depends on the physiological build and the learned reaction patterns of every woman..."
A woman's orgasm:
There is still a prevailing myth about the correct and socially accepted way to an orgasm. Many sexual counsellors, for example, only concentrate on the penis-in-vagina sexual act and thereby insinuate that itÕs the only way to real sexual satisfaction. Petting or masturbation is only partly mentioned and sex between lesbians and gays is regarded as unfulfilling.
Physiologically an orgasm is an orgasm, whether achieved by masturbation, coitus, oral stimulation or any other form of stimulation. The subjective experience may differ but the physiological cycle, which a woman goes through, is the same: when sexual tension is accumulated, the woman has an orgasm and returns to the original state of calmness.
To reach an orgasm psychological and / or physical stimulation is required. There are some women (according to Kinsey it is about 2 percent of the population) who can reach an orgasm by only using their fantasy, without any genital stimulation; another small percentage can reach an orgasm with breast or other non-genital stimulation. Some women have spontaneous orgasms and many women can have an orgasm whilst dreaming. Despite these exceptions most women need an extensive amount of stimulation of the genital area.
The sexual reaction cycle can be divided into four general phases: the arousal phase, the plateau phase, the orgasm phase and the relaxation phase. These phases are not completely separable. One phase isnÕt entirely finished before the next one begins. This separation of the phases rather tries to describe the order of the reactions, which characteristically happen in a real continuous process.
1. The arousal phase:
The clitoris becomes hard when the underlying tissue fills with blood. At the same time the vagina produces lubrication through sweating. The veins of the vagina widen and fill with blood, the colour of the vaginal walls darken. Now the pulse and the blood pressure increase considerably and the woman starts to move rhythmically.
2. The plateau phase:
The wall tissue on the outer vaginal third and the PC muscle swell with blood, which results in a narrowing of the vaginal entrance. This area is called orgasmic plateau. The clitoris seems to have disappeared somewhere under the hood at this point in time, but it further reacts to direct stimulation of the surrounding area. The uterus, the Fallopian tube and the ovaries swell up. Breathing, pulse and the womanÕs movements become faster.
3. The orgasm phase:
The muscles start to contract rhythmically. Breathing, pulse and blood pressure become faster until a body reflex turns around the process of the growing muscle tension and blood supply to the sexual tissue. Neither an orgasm nor a knee reflex can be forced - both reflexes come naturally. The increasing muscle tension and the overfilling of the veins reach a climax and results in an orgasm.
4. The relaxation phase:
The contraction of the clitoris keeps the blood from flowing further into the tissue. The pulse slows down and the tissue goes down. The sexual organs return to their normal state. The woman relaxes and is covered by a fine layer of sweat.
"...do nothing. Just take deep breaths and always come back to your body feelings. "
The genital massage:
The Taoist philosophy says that the genital massage creates energy: Ching Chi. This energy is experienced by feelings of lust, liveliness and vibration. In a calm state the Ching Chi is linked to the sex chacra, the massage spreads it throughout the body. HEART BREATHING (noticeable, strong inhaling in the heart region) supports the yoni and lingam massage. The combination of heart breathing and massage can climax in an all body orgasm: high tension and deep relaxation at the same time.
The arousal mostly comes in waves. Lose your expectations of how sex is expressed. Do nothing. Just take deep breaths and always come back to your body feelings. The orgasm is not a goal but an orgiastic state: breathing and a freed Ching Chi are combined.
The Big Draw for women:
The "Big Draw" or "big pulling up" is applied to spread the built up sexual and erotic energy throughout the entire body. This special exercise is very powerful and, in my experience, only good for women if they are feeling a lot of sexual energy. This is how the recipient can avoid being sexually blocked-up if she didnÕt have an orgasm because this energy can then flow throughout the entire body.
Many women, however, often enter a very emotional room that is associated with fear. In this case the Big Draw can be too much. Often it is often if the recipient sends the energy from the sexual region, along the spine to the heart, just by using her mind. These are recommendations, only the recipient can decide on whatÕs good for her.
Instructions for the Big Draw:
Slowly and deeply exhale shortly before reaching an orgasm. Make sure that you also exhale the rest of the air in your body. It'll work best if you exhale on "fffff". Once you've fully exhaled there will be a "hunger for air", which automatically animates you to breathe properly in the stomach region. Take a deep breath. Close anus and throat and hold your breath for at least a minute. Make a fist and tense all your muscles as much as possible. If you want you can also bend your knees. Hold it, hold it, hold it and then let go, relax and feel what is happening to your body now. If you want, your mind can send this energy from the sexual region, along the spine, to your heart.